what I wanna write in my socmed

stop caring about one who doesn't care back about you

gilaa

bisa gila gw gara2 urusan suka sm orang doaaaang. jadi situasinya adalaaaah: gw emang dr pertama udah suka. trus orang ini da emang dasar baik jadi ya nanggep2in aja kl gw ajak becanda. lama2 dia duluan yg becandaannya flirting style gt. gw sih ya awalnya ga mikirin da udah tau kl becanda. cm lama2 ada saat dmn kita berasa nyambung banget, dan perasaan itu hilang stlh kita ketemu dan dia jd ga se posesif sblmnya. gw masih ok2 aja. kesini2 menurut gw dia bener2 udah ga posesif dan gw juga udh males ngurusin ygga niat sm gw gt, mending cari orang lain yg lebih puguh. hal tsb mengakibatkan gw bertindak hal aneh di mata dia spt gw jd sering ngambek, males diajak ngapa2in bareng, tp ditanya kenapa gw ga jawab smp dia kesel.

hmmmhh harus gt dijawab kl gw ngehindar krn ga mau baper? gw merasa hal itu cm mempermalukan diri sendiri dan bikin org lain merasa salting dan merasa bersalah. jd tolong gmn caranya deh kl memang gw dikasih kesempatan buat ketemu org yg puguh gw ga mau punya utang ke org lain..

feel so bad

kalo dia tau gw ngerasa apa pasti dia bakal ngerasa bersalah trus jaga jarak sm gw demi jaga perasaan gw. dan gw tau bahwa gw tetep bego krn udah tau main doang tapi ga bs ga baper. gw tau kok selama ini kita main doang tp gw ga bs bohong kalo sedihnya sedih beneran.

gw pgn gimana caranya kita tetep berhubungan baik tapi gw ga keiket sm perasaan gw ke lo krn toh mau gmn2 juga you wouldn't care about my feelings tapi suatu hari gw ngerasa I'm gonna need you much. hope someday I found somebody better than you.

cengeng

cengeng ga ya kl gw sengaja punya pacar biar ga baper.

cengeng sih kayaknya.
tar yg terjadi sepertinya malah pacar ada, baper tetep. wtf

yg bener sembuhin baper dulu Ti baru cari pacar. sukur2 dapet yg bagus

stay away from this man

nggak usah berdekatan dengan orang yang membuat kamu buruk atau merasa buruk.

aku mau apa?

saat semua orang ga jelas dan gw juga bingung mau nuntut apa dari siapa. mungkin hal paling bener yang harus dilakukan adalah buta hati dan fokus kerja aja. kan mau jd tim ahli indonesia-asia-worldwide.

big worries lasts days

udah berhari2 susah tidur malem dan ga bisa bangun pagi. hurts so muchhhh...

big goalsnya kayaknya sih:
- my biggest worries about being failure. failure yang paling deket ya failure kuliah. masa kuliah aja nilainya jelek, masa bikin paper aja ga becus, masa ngurus acara dan gaul aja ga bisa, masa nego sm org lain aja ga bisa. failure yg lain adalah failure in life. takut ga bisa kerja, ga bs cari uang sendiri dan bahagiain ortu.

- udh mulai worry about my relationship. seperti yg sudah diduga. awal2 menyenangkan, lama2 pasti baper juga. dr awal juga ga gmn2 sih, we're having fun about each other i think, meskipun kdg2 pasti masing2 ada pake hati juga, tp yaudahlah kan dr awal juga tau kalo ga bakal bs ngapa2in. nah skrg masalahnya gw mulai butuh org yg bs diapa2in, diajak kesana sini, dikenalin ke temen, it seems more make senses for me drpd org kesayangan yg juga sayang gw tp ga mungkin gw kenalin ke org lain lebih dr hubungan kita yg sbnrnya. galau antara ngelepas yg baik utk dapetin yg ga penting tp bs dibawa, tp stay dgn keadaan skrg juga gw mulai ga nyaman dan banyak mikirin dia dan gw yakin dia juga suatu hari pasti sebel gw tanya2in kaya pacar beneran. he might say "i'm not living with you, we're just sleeping together".

- dan actually gw bener2 iri sm tmn2 gw yg go abroad sih. they're really strong outside the world. gw pengen kyk gt juga. I wanna living strong in all around the world. terserah mau kayak apa juga yg penting classy.

-gw inget wkt gw kecil dulu ortu gw bener2 bangga sm gw. gw anak satu tp mandiri banget, paling berhasil diantara sodara2 dan anak temen2nya (meskipun wkt kecil gw banyak ga diurus tp gw bisa gitu). skrg kayaknua sedikit2 mereka mulai worry krn anak orang juga sedikit2 maju dan belajar. bahkan mereka bisa happy dengan mimpi masing2 dan gw enggak. gw makin di push ortu makin down. rasanya gw pengen kabur aja dan balik kl gw udah kayak manusia yg mereka pgn. itu juga pasti bentar aja da namanua cita2 mah umurnya cm beberapa jam trus kita kudu cepet move on biar ga ketinggalan org dan larut dalam cerita.

-mau kayak gitu gw harus kerja apa ya? nikah sm orang kayak apa ya? anak2 nt sekolah dimana dan diajarin apa? gw ga mau anak gw dipegang2 jorok gt ah. apalagi kl harus ketemu orang yg bisanya komen mulu.

huaaaa.. aku pusinggg dan stress banget :"""""(

ohhh.. daaaaaaan. gw juga ga mau suami gw dikalahin orang lain. gw males kalo buka socmed trus cowo gw looks like ordinary people. gwnya udah rakyat jelata, jd dianya kudu cakep.

road to be master of arch

since the first time I am nothing to architecture. I'm nor classy or smart. I picked architecture just because my psycholog taught mother if I had a big talent in architecture. and there I was. graduated in 2,87 GPA for 4,5 years education at one of greatest architecture school in indonesia.

until the day I had my b.arch I don't want to be an architect. I knows nothing about it and have no world for it. but music and photography as my hobby doesn't give a good salary either. then I'm trying architecture as my carrier.

I still remember it's wonderful 1,5 years experience as fresh graduate. I had a fun job, good bestfriends, built one of the best restaurant in bandung, and finally have my own project. after finish individual project I decide to get experience from companies overthere.

my life start ruined when parents avoid me for not to work outside Bandung. What would I get at that small city?? But as my boyfriend told me if I had to respect my parents I was agree moved to Bandung and working at my father's friend company. At the same time I feeling frustrated working for something I don't want to, my boyfriend angry to me and said that I'm just a crybaby for not solving my own problem (the problem is coming from him first actually 👿), father is really not helping by said "who was agreed being working there? you have yourself"

that's the most world's hell things so far..

and the result after those bangs are: my boyfriend were cheat, going with that girl and left me alone in my hard times, my parents is having no care with my problems, and I feel like I don't know who's my friend anymore because they were talking about me behind my back. said, "yeah, he's better with that girl. She's prettier, smarter, and more mature. Tia is just an ugly duck."

thanks man

now I have reason why I should be happy with my life and don't have to care about people. they didn't care for me either.

agreement

for the first time I'm totally love someone n AGREE TERMS WITH HIM! never happens before.

the agreement is: we was started the story with deep touch physically and now he asks me for not doing about it anymore, or at least never make it happens visually. it will be dangerous n ruins everything.

hmmmm.. I'm not deal about it.

mistakes

there will always be a mistake n there's always have ways to fix it

together as one

akhirnya yang bikin 2 orang bisa bareng terus adalah karena mereka sama2 komit utk bakal terus bareng whatever happens. not only one but two. it takes two to tango - lela, madu, dan pak abang

this man

this man is getting worse day by day. once, he refused me to come to the office, second, he not wanted me that much anymore, third, he asks me to do something he wants, fourth, there's no anymore loving care while he pushed me so hard. I'm on the stage when I should throw him away.

even a man do worse things with no guarantee he will be back someday. It's not wrong if I throw men away right?

quotes from today

ga ada yg susah kl km disiplin - karina salim

women become beautiful when she reach her dreams come true - dania

do everything right - carol

keep trying when you're not getting what you want yet - me

someone I loved & I wanted

how I face you?

am I love you? am I love you properly?
I don't want to make you sad. I wanna cheer you for my whole life. are we true?

I want to be with you all the time.

losing one

kehilangan sesuatu tuh meskipun udah tau dan siap2 dr lama rasanya tetep sedih dan sakit ya. dan setelah ky gini seriously I wanted him more more badly. gw pgn suatu hari dia bnr2 dtg ke gw n say that I'm is his only one. meskipun kita ga akan bisa kemana2 smp kapanpun tp itu yg gw mau.

ga bisa tiduuuurr

kangen "pacar" yang akhir2 ini jadi sibuk, panik, dan jd cuek banget (mungkin krn dia lg stress, atau mungkin ada masalah lain juga yg gw ga boleh tau. sbnrnya gw ga suka gatau2 gt. tp mengingat status kedepannya ga jelas juga jd tau diri aja deh 😕) mau ditinggal ko ga fair, mau bantuin takut malah ngerepotin, mau keeping up kayaknya gw ga akan sama dia juga, mau ninggalin ga bisaa.. you're my besttt 😭😭, mau suka sm org lain ga nemu yg baiknya nandingin yg 1 ini, ga ada yg memperjuangkan gw juga. wahai pacar cepat lah kembali lucu, nyebelin, dan menggemaskan seperti semulaaaa...aku kangen! aku ada cerita.. dengerin dong.. awas kalo ketiduran aku cubit. cubit pake..hmmm.. 🙊🙊🙊

tesis gak tau gmn ceritanya. gak paham. gw ga tau gw suka apa tertarik apa, mau ngapain. gw stuck dan bego banget. i DON'T KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dear baby

i definity won't see anyone better than you. I wish I would have someone like you in the future, for the rest of my life.

you're definitely different now, baby. more stress, simply, doesn't fight for me, n I'm just a stupid girl to advised you. I always wish I could help every step of your life, not for be thanked but because I love you n don't want you to falling down.

beloved ars

ars. gue merasa sampai pada titik dimana gue pgn memperjuangkan hal ini karena setelah diliat2 cantik juga ya meskipun gw sama sekali ga bisa gambar dan ga bakat jadi arsitek handal. mungkin kerjaan gw cuma bisa jadi drafter. sayangnya manusia2 di dalamnya ga seindah gambarnya. gw sering merasa jadi orang yang asing dan bodoh. semua orang nuntut gw utk memperjuangkan mereka kalo gw mau diterima.

gw ga bisa bohong kl ada elemen dr diri gw yang pengen bikin gw lepas aja dr dunia ini. tapi pindahnya kemana jauh lebih burem dari masa depan gw di dunia ini. mendingan stay apa adanya aja kali ya. berjuang dl sm orang lain lalu tentukan pilihan kemudian. jangan lupa prepare for the worst

what would you do?

apa yang akan anda lakukan saat pacar udah ga jelas keberadaannya, advice buat temen dianggep basi, dan ga punya pekerjaan selain kuliah dan beresin tesis?

ikut lomba aja terus sampe menang. yg ninggalin gue bodo aja lu.

what my friends think about me

mereka mungkin anggep gw orang yang bodoh dan ga terbukti omongannya. modal gw cuma sekolah doang, ga ada pengalamannya.

awkward saturday night

gw tau gw banyak kerjaan, tapi udah bosen dirumah kerja terus. sesekali pgn juga atur waktu biar weekend bisa main keluar. tp ga mau sama temen, soalnya udah bosen juga, pengennya sama pacar. sama pacar kl diajak nikah masih blm mau, tp kl cuma main doang juga males. sekalian aja temenan. jd maunya emang ketemu sm orang yg pas, dia mau aku blm mau, dia makin mau aku akhirnya mau juga. sampe skrg masih cari cara gmn caranya move on, tp semoga pacar gw punya sejuta cara utk membuktikan bahwa dia jauh lebih baik dan menunjukkan bahwa ga akan nyesel milih dia jd pasangan gw dibandingkan memilih papi itu (yeah well it's apeu n weird but its happen). pgn banget update film terbaru, tren terbaru, dtg ga awkward ke nikahan temen (meskipun males bgt kl suruh ngajak kondangan), trus sukur2 sih bisa nyambi bisnis atau seenggaknya bantuin orang bisnis dehh. datangkanlah orang yang spt itu ya Allah.

it's saturday night now. gw blm pernah dicuekin separah ini loh. ga temen deket ga pacar dadah semuaaa. cape ah

partner

sebaik2nya pasangan selain sayang sama kita juga harus buktikan bahwa dia mau perjuangkan kita, mingle dengan lingkungan kita, dan membantu kita utk jd orang yg lebih baik dr sebelumnya

after all

setelah semua yg gw jalani. pekerjaan, kuliah, temenan, dan punya hubungan sm orang yang mungkin ga akan bersama gw kedepannya gw mau mempersiapkan sesuatu.

1. meskipun sendirian harus berani memperjuangkan apa yang gue mau
2. orang paling berharga di dunia adalah orang yang membuat kita lebih baik dan akan lebih berharga lg kl dia juga mau berjuang demi stay sama kita
3. membahagiakan diri sendiri lalu orang lain adalah wajib hukumnya, dan syukuri teman yang mau menemani kita untuk perjuangkan itu
4. hidup bisa berada dalam posisi yg sangat buruk tanpa persiapan. sedalam apapun kita tenggelam, berusahalah utk bangkit lebih baik dari hari ke hari
5. dari semua cobaan di dunia yang paling berat cuma 2: bangun tepat waktu dan datang ga telat
6. uang penting. hasilkanlah uang
7. jangan lupa merekam apapun yang kita hasilkan dan publish itu
8. jadilah orang yang dikenal hal baik yang kita punya, semua orang pasti bisa baik Asal berusaha
9. ga semua orang bagus. yang penting hari ini lebih baik dari hari kemarin.

wish

what do I have now? lovers? friends? pride?

my lovers is someone else's, different family, different religion, trapped in the office social rule, etc. no matter how much we loves each other or I love him so much we can't be together till the end of time I think. OR he was never truly loves me, or at least he doesn't love me in the same way I did. I want to love him as much as I can do, n i hope he feel the same way too. and say it to me.

my friends is someone else's too. they're that good. I'm not. I'm afraid for not giving them good advice or give something then they don't want to be friends with me anymore. Is there anyone who loves me in good or bad? but they're my best so far.

pride. what's the pride for someone who was nothing in their 28? I don't know what i wanna do. I can't get something. I can't fight for something.

I wanna be something and has everything. experience, love, family ❤

about what you have n what you dont have

i knows nothing about having something. but seems I know that soon or later you'll lose something not your own.

thank you

let me thanks to god about achievement in life.

2 years ago i was never dreamt about getting money. now I have and I've been making myself around the world by my own money

2 years ago I'm that afraid spoken english or even going abroad. now I did it twice a year and almost addicted speaking english or even other language.

2 years ago I think somebody that going abroad even just singapore is very cool. now singapore is my jakarta. I can going back there anytime I want.

I was stupid about everything before. now I'm better because of books.

2 years ago I'm getting nervous around my boss. now I'm dating him and can't live without him.

2 years ago I thought he was scary and made me cry often. now my days are blue when he's not around.

I was darker and have bad fashion before. now I'm not that fashionable, but I'm prettier at least.

I hate people 2 years ago. yesterday I made couple trip with my school mate and I'm really thanks for his presence.

I never thought I'll be in love again. now I'm with someone I thought I never marry him but I love him desperately. I thought now finally I'm in love again. I just have to find thw right ones.

thank God. even I'm still not that good you give me chance to growing better day by day. please let me be the best. amen 🙏

bussiness

business is not all about money, it's about how you treat others well and still get the money